After eight, well that’s another story.
After eight, I became quieter.
After eight I turned from a normal little girl into a super self-conscious little girl.
I became hyper aware of my place in the World.
When I was eight years old something happened that changed me from that carefree, happy girl I remember being before eight.
I didn’t know until much later that it was the experience of my eight year old self that would create the version of me that would lead my life until well into my 40’s.
I didn’t know until much later that it was this experience that created the teenage version of me that was always so eager to please any man that she said ‘yes’ even when she meant no!
I didn’t know that this experience would turn me into a 21 year old pregnant woman who would choose raising her child alone rather than to tell the father that it was his child she was carrying.
I didn’t know that this experience turned me into a frightened little mouse who would marry a man she didn’t particularly like, and who would walk on eggshells throughout her marriage – being quiet and compliant.
I didn’t know this was what created the over-whelming knowing that I was less-than and that I had no power.
When I started my awakening journey in my 40’s I remembered what I’d locked away in a dark corner of my mind.
And as I looked over my life after eight I saw the damage this one traumatic incident caused.
I saw how this small moment in time, so long ago, created the life I was living, a life where I was not happy or healthy… or even fully present at all!
And I started my long, hard and dark healing journey.
I started dis-creating the damaged inner personalities that were ruling my life … continually keeping me in fear, lack and disempowerment.
I re-created myself, little by little, as empowered, strong and able to ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’.
And for that, for who I am now, I am grateful for that moment in time when I was eight.
I like who I’ve become, now that I’ve found myself again.
Who could you be, if you finally released the unhealed parts of you, took control of your life and started living the truth of your self-empowerment?
What could you do?
What would you have in your life and experience?