Once upon a time I was sleeping.
Before I was awakened by a kiss of light.
After I woke, that first time, I thought I had made it.
I imagined that in my awakened state life would get better and better.
That joy would flow and everything would be easy.
And then I crashed.
And I realised that I was not awake at all.
In fact, I had awakened from one belief system into another.
And I spent 10 years slumbering in that new belief system … in hindsight I know it was too long a time but I’ve always been a persistent and stubborn little bugger.
When I was about 5 years of age I knelt beside my bed from 6pm until midnight, refusing to say my bedtime prayers, until my equally stubborn father fell asleep and my gentle mother picked me up and put me under the covers.
So… I awakened out of my sleepy-time to The Secret of the law of attraction and manifestation.
With visions of a happy ever after life.
Of asking, believing and receiving.
Of negating the negative and pushing the positive.
Of magical genies and fairy god-mothers.
In truth it was a time of…
Losing money, becoming more dis-empowered and drowning in not-enough.
A smiley face sticker over pain and heart-break
Dissatisfaction with everything that did not comply with my learned ‘new age’ ideas.
Falling deeper and deeper down the ‘spiralling out of control’ cycle of TRYING to manifest my dreams and create my reality.
Not realising that I was still asleep.
And that the wake up call I was awaiting …
… was nothing.
And when I awakened again, this last time, I had learned how to bypass 10+ years of the roller-coaster ride of trying to manifest and create my own reality.
I knew what came after learning to connect with my guides and channel source.
I was no longer seeking some elusive missing piece to make it all work.. and blaming myself for not having found it yet!
And I don’t regret a minute of those 10+ years.
Some of it hurt badly.
Sometimes I feel a twinge of ‘wishes unfulfilled’
But I don’t regret it
Because now I know what comes after the darkness of nothingness, when everything that came before has been let go.
And they lived happily ever after.